Dialogue can make up anywhere from 10 to 50 percent of a novel. Getting it to sound like two or more people legitimately talking to each other doesn’t have to be a drag. Here are a few easy ways to whip your dialogue into better shape.
Agree to Disagree
Most dialogue in real life comes across as harmonious.
“Honey, can you pass the salt?”
“Sure thing, dear.”
But in novels, a good portion of your dialogue should actually be there to cause discord or strife. Characters need to disagree with each other for many reasons, but the main one is that it’s just more interesting when they do. Tension in dialogue leads to conflict. And conflict is why we read the story—well, conflict and seeing how the conflict is resolved. But consider the above dialogue, and then compare it with this version:
“Honey, can you pass the salt?”
“I think we should see other people.”
One of those versions makes me want to keep reading.
Keep in mind that much of conversation isn’t linear. Sometimes two people are having parallel talks. Sometimes someone asks a question but the other person doesn’t answer. Be sure to leave some mystery in there, when it works for the story.
Get to the Point
Another issue that often happens during first drafts is characters getting long-winded. Especially when they’re using exposition to info dump the plot. Or they’re just “being polite.” People don’t want to read niceties or rambling discussions. One delightful way to narrow the dialogue down: take each person’s line and reduce it to a single word. So a boring 250-word blahfest about where to eat would turn into something like this:
“Hungry?”
“Maybe.”
“Pizza?”
“Yesterday.”
“Sushi?”
“Allergic.”
“Indian?”
“Where?”
“Mall.”
“Mall?”
“Best.”
“OK…”
Of course, your final dialogue (probably) won’t be single words. But this is a great exercise to make sure your characters are saying what you need them to say, without all the filler.
Kill Off Personal Attributions
“Stephen, can you pass the salt?”
“Sure thing, Patricia.”
“Thank you, Stephen.”
“It was my pleasure, Patricia. Oh, Patricia, are you done with the newspaper, Patricia?”
OK, that example was overkill. But you get the point. In the middle of a rapid-fire argument, making sure the characters use each other’s names a few times can help readers follow along more easily. Or when there are more than two people in a scene. But when it’s just two, and the conversation isn’t that long, try a simple rewrite of removing the names.
Another point here: Next time you’re on the bus, at the airport, or somewhere public, try a little public eavesdropping. And take note of how often people use each other’s names during their discussion.
Really Really Really Try to Avoid Adverbs
If you’re writing children’s literature or YA, a little of this is probably OK or might even be encouraged.
“Let the ogre eat the children,” the evil king said angrily.
“Not if we eat him first,” the young knight replied heroically.
But in most other genres, the need to explain how people are talking makes your writing sound weak. In most cases, you can do one of three things:
- Remove the adverbs. The dialogue can usually stand on its own.
- Remove the adverbs but change the verb. Use a better word to express your intention. Instead of “said angrily,” just have them “yell.”
- Rewrite the dialogue so that ideas come across without any assist from a verb. “My poor pet ogre hasn’t eaten in weeks,” the evil king said.
Another way you can trim down adverb use is by simply removing the attribution entirely. Sometimes you might need to then tweak the action a bit, but this gives the story more energy. Be forewarned that if taken too far, you could sound too much like James Joyce. But in general, many stories have dialogue that’s over-attributed. A few fewer “he saids” and “she saids” can go a long way. That being said…
There’s Just One Word You Need for Attribution
Said.
Really. That’s it. Once readers are into the story, they won’t even notice it. Even if you use it over and over. What they will notice is if you use a different verb every time, or—shudder—even worse, if you use attribution words that don’t even make sense. And remember, an action verb is not a dialogue attribution word.
“My pet ogre hasn’t eaten in weeks,” the evil king smiled. (Never do this.)
“Neither have I,” the young knight parried. (Maybe this is OK. As a rarity.)
“Me not hungry,” the ogre flurgled. (Hmm. This one might be OK, actually.)
Seriously though, just stick with said. Don’t overuse it when it’s clear who’s talking. And if you use something else, do so for a reason.
To recap: Use said. Fewer adverbs. Fewer personal attributions. Keep the dialogue focused on moving the story forward. And make sure that your characters use their voices to argue. Pretty soon you’ll have dialogue that flurgles off the page.