I remember the days of yore, when my November writing sessions ended because I’d hit my word count for the day, rather than because someone needed a snack…
Listen: I love my children. With every fiber of my being. But I can’t deny that trying to write a novel is a whole different animal today than it was back when I was footloose and child-free.
I’ve “won” NaNoWriMo twenty times now, and while it’s always a challenge, I do feel like the last six years (since I entered the wild world of parenting) have been on hardcore mode. And unfortunately, I can’t just take a break from my kids for an entire month, so I’ve had to get really intentional about how to approach my writing with them underfoot.
It’s not easy, but it is possible. So I’m here to share some tips.
Make a writing plan for the kids you actually have. A peaceful hour before they wake up sounds lovely, unless your child can sense you opening a laptop from three rooms away. Look for opportunities that already exist in your day, rather than trying to build a new routine around everyone suddenly behaving perfectly.
Be flexible and plan for chaos. Some days you’ll get a whole scene written! Other days you might get three sentences and someone’s applesauce on your keyboard. Set a realistic daily word-count goal for where you’re at in your life and what the demands on your time look like. Then, on days when you have more time and energy, keep going!
Account for parent-brain (aka total short-term memory overload). End each writing session with a quick note about what happens next–even something like “they argue about the letter; she lies.” When you finally get ten minutes, you won’t have to spend nine of them remembering what your characters were doing.
It’s okay to get creative! Not every writing session is going to feel like your ideal setup. Phone notes count. A notebook at soccer practice counts. Dictating a plot idea while folding laundry counts, though your transcript may read, “She finally confesses her love and then–please put your pants back on.”
Find a place where you’re both entertained. A café with a children’s play area can be a beautiful arrangement: they get to burn energy, and you get coffee and a chance to write. You’re still supervising, but maybe you can squeeze in a few words as well.
Make the handoff explicit. If you have a partner or another support person you can lean on, agree on a specific stretch when they’re in charge. “I’m writing from seven to eight” is a lot easier to protect than “I’d love to get some writing done at some point.”
There are so many “easier” ways to spend your time when you’ve got young kids, but if writing is important to you, you deserve to make room for it in the family’s busy schedule. The trick is staying flexible on how writing happens, while taking your desire to do it seriously. No one else is going to make the time for you, so you have to be your best advocate.
Good luck this November! I’m rooting for you!